The Hall of Fame!

[illucypher]

Peeves

He accepts the sandwich in much the same way as would a conissuier (sp. ouch!) would approach a fine wine.

Folding his newspaper so that the crossword was still visable he laid it down on the table by the side of this gastronomic feast...

He first settles and eyes the target (the plate). As is in common with most London cafes it is often best not to dwell upon exactly how much hygene training the staff have recieved... in this case, if the spiderweb of cracked glaze over its dull brown pattern was anything to go by the proprietor had taken steps to at least camoflage any flaws in the health and safety process.

He then grasps the plate lightly with both hands and brings it to eye level, studies the pleasent colouration, grain and thickness of the beef's restraints aka Brown Bread Doorstop (*1.). The bread was presumably the regulation thickness (*2), he had to restrain himself from actually taking his ruler from he pocket to measure it, he was undercover after all...

The visable contents of the sandwich were then gazed upon with a critical eye, the beef was a light brown (no visable streaks of green or gray...), plump and ragged of edge(*3). The mustard formed a thin bright yellow stain at the joins of the beef and the bread.

Jeeves smiled with a pang of pride, as a true perfectionist in the application of English mustard he truly appreciated this. (*4)

Next he inhaled the bouqet through his nose.*(5). Once again Jeeves smiled. He could smell the beef, and somewhat more importantly, distinguish it as such.(*6)

He paused (this bit was important), exhaled slowly through his mouth. Finally pursing his lips he prepared himself for first contact(*7)

Putting the plate down he then used the patented Smith & Green "Splayed Hand reverse assualt" method he grasped the sandwich by inserting his right thumb under the leading right-edge of the underside, levering the sandwich up slighty he placed his four fingers of his right hand (*8 ) atop the sandwich. Tipping the sandwich to a vertical position he then increased pressure between thumb and fingers. The pressure applied by the four fingers being proportional both to the width and depth of the sandwich and raised the sandwich in a arc towards his mouth.

Taking a bite, a smile of contentment came over him.

He turned to the waitress and nodded his appreciation.

==============================================================================================

*1. Obviously in such cases colouration varies with maturity... a greenish/whitish tinge is often a good indication that the vintage is past its prime. Another is that the weevils appear to be dead rather than actually eating it.
*2. The regulation thickness for a slice of bread varies according to class. Obviously, those of a higher social standing have far more delicate hands and should not be expected to unduly tire themselves lifting the excessive weight accorded to those of the working classes. In addition, greater amount of skill and attention to slicing thinner is required in the production of a gentlemans sandwich. Hence the apparent disparity between inversely proportional costings of bread served in eateries having a customer base consisting of a different social strata...
*3. To the trained eye this is an obvious indication that the regulation cutting implement was not applied in the preperation process.
*4. This being application of English mustard to both sides of the filling, enough to stifle out the taste buds... but not enough to induce the gag reflex. French mustard, on the other hand, is considered less "manly" and generally only applied to one side of the filling... and only given to those with a weak backbone.
*5. For a true test of the "Beef and Mustard" butty, one should be able to dicern several things... including a deliberate attempt to obscure the odor of charcoal...or rot, with an overly generous application of mustard.
*6. Several attempts have been made by unscrupulous butchers (usually of foriegn climes) to replicate the traditional bovine nature of "beef" with a somewhat more, cheaper and available alternative...something more equine or rodent-like.
*7. There are many schools of thought about the correct tactic to use whilst eating a sandwich. However, it is a little known fact that these are in fact for the basis for much of modern British military thinking. "A solider thinks with his stomach.." is not just passing phrase to be dismissed lightly. The same also goes for dipping bread into boiled egg yolks.. it is not without good reason that the bread used are formed into lines and called soldiers.
*8. It is important to distinguish exactly what hand is used.. the "Splayed Hand reverse assualt" only uses ONE hand, the right. This is an important distinction and one not commonly recognised by foriegners. It is used specifically in situations where the user is comfortable in his surrounding but requires use of the second hand for another (usually trivial) purpose. The two-handed version, the patented Murgatroyd-Jones method, is primarily used when the user is completely comfortable in a situation. It is not used should any company be present using another method..that would be a breech of ettiquette, indicating that either the host or the guest is not entirely comfortable and perhaps more effort should be expended to rectify that situation. Use of the LEFT hand to hold the sandwich, the patented Hugo-Ottoman "Counter reverse Defence" method is frowned upon in polite society, indicative of a lack of trust in the host, as this leaves the right hand free to draw weapons etc..
*9. There is no number 9.

[illucypher]

Grinnen Baeritt in SSMD:
(The Victorian gentlemen are awakened in the middle of the night, and find their housemate in a state of madness.)

Peeves

"A moment if you will Sir.." he says to Hill. He then proceeds to light the main room lamp.

"Calm yourself... Sir" he fails to see what the threat is.. had he not seen exactly the food that had been prepared he would have sworn that the gentleman had eaten cheese for supper...

Peeves mum had often warned him of the dangers of cheese before bed, and followed her law to the letter. He'd seen the effects of those who thought they knew better and had taken of a selection of fromage before retiring...

Apparently the french cheeses made you go mad... at least according to his mum. Though he personally thought the French had a head start in that department anyway...

He'd have to have a word with Mrs Beeton...

Approved by Eldgeth and illucypher

[illucypher]

Re: (IC) Chapter Six: Ill Tidings from Agatti

I love this post.  He's immersed in the game world...the phrasing, the description, the pacing of the language....I think Wentil has got "it" and is worthy of being recognized.

Kamu glances over at Emu thoughtfully as Elder Tovanu names him.  His dark brown eyes are measuring and somber, before returning to Elder Tovanu with the reply to his question.

"For supplies, to begin with, I think we will need medicine and seeds of different kinds." he says. "I would like the village to be able to plant beans and other kinds of foods.  If the plan is that we are going to be bringing back other people we find there, we will need to be able to feed them on more than just boiled fruit.  The people of Agatti need to grow strong once again, and to do that they must first begin to eat well."

Kamu glances at the pair of stone statues sitting on the mats.  "It is good in a way that we do not need much, for I do not think we can bring much else this first trip." he admits. "Our gulls have already flown here today; even with the rest they have received, to ask them to return to Agatti this same day bearing both our weight and that of these statues will press them to their limits.  There is no shelter for us on the path to Agatti -- no place to land and rest on the way; if we falter, death is the sure result."

He glances up from the statues and regards Elder Tovanu calmly.  "There will be other trips back to Kani as we move forward." he says. "Should we need other things they do not have there, we can get them at that time."

Glancing at Elder Valesca, he spreads his hands slightly.  "I think that much has been lost to the people of Agatti, or certainly, at least, to this Village." he says, sadness tinging his voice. "There are no Elders left to them, and all that remains of their history and knowledge are what has been passed down in scraps and frightened whispers to one another.  I think that we must try and teach them as best we can, and help them to recapture some of what was lost.  For this, I and the others will do our best, and we need nothing else but time and patience.  Each of us comes from a different place on Kani, and knows different things; I will task some of the riders to giving lessons on different things when we are at the village, akin to the fashion we ourselves were taught."

[Sorloc]

Here it is, Eldgeth!
Sonon
 You have wandered your way to a bustling inn/tavern in the middle of Waterdeep. There is a flight of stairs next to a large bar leading up to the rooms. Along the walls you see bunches of what looks like leather on closer expection you can see that they are orc ears. The Barkeep comes up to you, "Hello Adventurer" he smiles. “Welcome to my establishment please make yourself at home. Let me know if you need anything." He hurries off to take care of another of the patrons.
 
Sonon
 Bimler with a purse in his hand runs into the inn, looks around for a moment and running up the stairs to a room throws a few gold pieces onto the bar.

 A few seconds after he disappeared up the stairs two large men in armor come into the bar and start to ask around about a halfling thief.

 Most of the patrons knew Bimler and had benifitted from his robbing only rich policy so they told the knights that they hadn't seen him.

 After a few minutes the knights left and Bimler returned from upstairs a little cleaner and without purse in tow.
 
Sorloc
 Whistling a happy tune, Dave Two-Swords strolls into the inn, having dusted himself off outside.  After a quick glance around, he saunters over to the bar, still whistling.  While awaiting the barkeep's pleasure, he continues to whistle and looks over the bar, its decorations, and its occupants.
 When the barkeep finally arrives, Dave pauses his whistling long enough to say, "Got any clean water?  And what are those things you've got hanging here and there about the place?"
 
Sonon
 The Barkeep looks at the man who asked for water and hands him a glass "All we got is what comes from the pump" he points towards a rusty looking pump near the end of the bar. “and those things on the walls are clusters of orc ears." He smiles proudly as he was one of the ones who collected those ears.
  
Sorloc
 ”That will be fine, my good fellow!”
 Dave takes the mug of water with a smile, "Thank you.  'Tis powerful hot out there."
 Dave mumbles a few words and a small pile of dry rust and dirt appears next to the mug, leaving clean water bubbling in the mug. A few more mumbled words, and beads of condensation appear on the outside of the mug.  Dave drinks thirstily. "Aaah.  That's good."
 Dave looks up again at the barkeep as the barkeep finishes explaining.
 Dave looks confused.  "Isn't it hard for them to hear if you do that?  How do you give them their commands after that?" an expression of sudden understanding crosses Dave's face, "Oh, of course!  You use mind control!   Silly me.  Yes, that will help them from getting confused."
 Dave takes another sip of cold, clean water.
 ”So... what's happening around these parts?”
 
Sonon
 Gimler noticing the newcomer sidles up to the bar and orders an ale. "Hello fella you new in Waterdeep?"
  
Sorloc
  “The name's Dave, friend.  I'm new to the area, yes, I'm a Battlemage from Shojomachi, looking for some work.  I'm sorry, I din't get your name?”
 
Sonon
"Shojomachi eh, never heard of it...Oh my names Gimler master thief at your service." He takes a long draught from his tankard of ale.
  
Sorloc
"Really!" Dave glances at the barkeep, then back at the avowed criminal.  "How interesting.  Good line of work, is it?  Oh!  Master Thief - I get it, you're trying to tell me that all the trades are guilded.  Of course, sorry, I've only just arrived.  Could you give me directions to the Battlemage's guild hall?"
 
Sonon
 Bimler looks exasperated at all the questions. “Okay, yes there are trade guilds, it is an okay line of work i only steal from those who can afford losing something, i don't know about a battlemage guild but i know of a mage guild and its not that far away."
  
Avidos
 A steady cadenced rap on the wooden floor is heard as the black-robed figure makes his way to the bar. He lowers his hood to reveal his dark skin, sqaure beard and strange markings.

   The figure orders a mug of water as well but soon sprinkles an unknown substance into the mug before waving his hand over it "fervefacio cena farratus".  Small wafts of steam arise from the mug that now projects a slight aroma.
  
Sorloc
"Who can afford to lose things? Oh, yes, those who choose not to pay protection.  Ha, ha, you must think me a rube...." Dave trails off as the newcomer enters.
"Ah, curse it," Dave says in a lowered voice. "You tried to warn me.  I bet that's someone from the Mage's guild right there, and here I am without guild credentials!  Maybe I can sneak out... no, can't sneak, I have no black cloak for sneaking and being unnoticed."   Dave looks over at the newcomer, then back at the Master Larcenist. "Well, I suppose the direct approach is best.  With you being a Guildmaster, I suppose I can negotiate with you for protection?"   Dave reaches inside his armor and takes out a small purse. "Is a silver enough?"
 [/color]
Sonon
 waves you away with confusion in his eyes "I am not a guildmaster am not even in a guild i just pride myself in my work. and you don't need credentials and i doubt he is in a guild either.”
  
Sorloc
"If you're not in a guild, how do you avoid prosecution?  Is thievery legal here?  Well, I'd sure appreciate it if you'd not steal from me; I can't afford to lose things, I lose too many things on my own," Dave says with a smile.  "But I think I'll play it safe and introduce myself.  I don't want any trouble. I'll be back in a minute."

 Dave walks over to near the dark cloaked figure, but not within touching distance and says, "Excuse me, are you with the guild?  I am Dave Two Swords, a Battlemage visiting the city, and don't need any trouble with the guilds."
  
Avidos
 Assam places both palms together as he slightly bows to the energetic man addressing him, "Yes, Dave Two Swords I sense the weave is strong within you...the masters you seek I know not but I have seen you in my visions. The flight of the magpie has brought me here. I am called Assam."
  
Sorloc
 ”Uh huh.  Well, hello, Assam, this is Bimler, he's a master thief."   Dave lowers his voice, "He's not in a guild, but he likes to call himself master anyway.  I think he's looking for work."   Raising his voice again, Dave says, "Ahem.  Well, it is nice to meet you, follower of the magpie.  What visions have you seen?  Are you a seer?  Can you tell my fortune?"
 
Avidos
 Assam bows his head slightly again, " forgive me you must for confused I must have made you.  Visions of the magpie I did see not a follower am I.  Visions often come some disturbing they are."
  
  Sonon
 A pair of knights walk into the inn and Bimler squeeks and dissappears up the stairs. The knights not noticing his flight begin to ask around for him. They work their way towards the bar and the two adventurers "Have you two seen a suspicious looking halfling?"
  
Sorloc
  “Oh, yeah! He - uh... hm, welllll, maaaybe - is there a reward?”
 
Sonon
 The Knights look at the funny talking person "Maaaybe have you seen em?"
  
Sorloc
“Is there a reward for this person? 
 I seem to recall you leaving here not ten minutes ago.  If you are having trouble finding someone, I could be persuaded to help.  I am looking for work, having only just recently arrived in town, sir knight.  But as I have arrived in town so recently, I don't really want to get involved in any trouble, unless it will help me feed myself, you see?"
  
  Avidos
 Assam his head to the knights, " open-ended is your question. Many forms suspicion does manifest. But halflings have I seen."
  
Sorloc
  “Yep.  And pretty much, they all look suspicious to me.  Unless they're wearing hooded black cloaks, in which case I don't see them, since they don't stand out at all.
 Have you no better description?"
 
Avidos
 Assam follows, " Great is the size of this City. Hundreds, maybe more, do here live.  Halflings here, so many they are, do live and only one you seek? "
  
Sonon
 The Kinghts look confused and scratch their heads "umm..welll..thanks for your help." they walk out the door in a hurry.
  
Sorloc
 Dave stares after the knights.  "What morons," he says.  "I was wondering how they could fail to catch a thief who walks up to people and says 'Hi, I'm a thief.' Now I know." Dave looks down the bar, "Hey barkeep!"   When the barkeep arrives, Dave asks him, "Who's in charge of this city?"
  
Sonon
 The barkeep looks at you curiously "Well everyone knows the Lords of Waterdeep run the city. The most well known of them Khelben Arunsun lives in a tower not far from here."
  
Sorloc
  “Is he the one in charge of those boneheads?”
  
Sonon
"No he isn't the one in charg of those..as you say "boneheads" they were probably recruited by the person Bimler stole from"
  
Avidos
 Assam addresses the barkeep, "the halfling Bimler you judge as well.  Evidence have you not."
 
Sorloc
“Hey, yeah!  My backwards talking friend here is right about that.  So Bimler must have some arrangement with you, eh?  Nice, nice.  Don't worry, sure I'm not going to say anything now - where would I sleep? HAHAHAHAHAHA!”
 
Avidos
 Assam appears confused as he is apparently unable to discern the cause of his new friend's mirth.  Assam just glances back and forth between Dave Two Swords and the Barkeep a few times.
  
Sonon
 ”Sir i know Bimler very well he has lived in my inn for almost a year if he is being asked for by knights he stole from someone believe me.”
  
Avidos
"harbor thieves you do?"   Assam inquires as he looks back from the Barkeep to Dave Two Swords. " Good is this here in your land?  Custom very different think I....used to it I am not."
  
Sorloc
"Well, I'm not from here, but I once lived in Shojomachi, and if you were guilded and had all your paperwork and licenses in order, you could legally be a thief, but of course, anyone who catches you is permitted to kill you if you're on their property or have their property on you - unless it's a government job, of course."   Dave takes another drink before continuing, "Now, if you're caught harboring a thief in Shojomachi, you'd better be sure that you have a sanctuary license - most of the temples do - or you're in for sharing any retribution.  Now if you're a licensed Bounty Hunter, there are times you can apprehend a thief whether or not he has anything on him at the time, and in some cases you can even violate sanctary..." Dave trails off, looking back and forth between the barkeep and the mage. "'Course, I'm not from here, and I'm not looking for any trouble."   Dave grins.
  
Avidos
"Interesting is this my friend" Assam returns then makes a 'karate chop' motion, " heads of thieves on pikes are displayed in my land"

  Assam then nods his head, "Bimler's head should not come off?"
  
Sorloc
"I don't know, friend.  It is passing strange," Dave takes a sip, looking around. "Here we have a fellow who introduces himself as a master thief, although he is not guilded.  this seems to be an insane act, and I cannot understand it.  We have two completely incompetent hired thugs who are trying to find Bimler, but who decline to search the premises.  Perhaps they do this because they fear some danger here if they try to search for him, or perhaps theivery is legal here, and friend Barkeep would be justified in defending those under his roof.  Myself, I don't believe those two fellows were hired for their reasoning ability."
 Dave finishes his drink and turns, leaning back against the bar.
"It has been nice talking to you, but I must find myself some employment, and I don't think Bimler needs my help to hide from idiots, and I doubt his victim could afford me, if he hires such as those.  So, I must keep looking while there is light left in the day." Dave extends his hand towards Assam, "Good day, I hope our paths cross again."
 
Avidos
 Assam nods "Odd it is my friend. Warm is my heart for new friend I have made Dave Two-Swords. Sweet wine and light laughter my friend"
  
Sonon
 A tall man in a regal looking robe walks into the tavern and takes a seet in one of the corner booths. The barkeep points to him "Dave ya say your name is right? go talk to him about a job..that Khelben himself."
  
Sorloc
 Dave looks over, then back at the barkeep. "No guards?  No attachés?  Look, I'll just make an appointment with his secretary, I don't want to disturb him at his meal."
 
Avidos
 Assam nods "Agree with Dave Two Swords does I.  Strange to see such a figure alone it is."
  
Sonon
 The barkeep smirks "Khelben has no need of guards...his magic is mightier then a hundred swords. I do not think he will be upset that he was interupted the only time he ever visits my inn is when he needs to hire some adventurers."
  
Sorloc
  “Cemetaries are full of others who thought thusly.  He would not be the first mage to be brought low by o'erweening pride; nor do I think he would be the last.
 Well, barkeep, if he is here looking for a champion in some cause, go ahead and give him my name along with his drink, but I'll not disturb him uninvited."   Dave puts some coins on the bar.
  
Avidos
 Assam nods his head "wise that is....wise that is indeed"
  
Sonon
 The barkeep shrugs and takes a tall glass filled with a smoking fluid to Khelben mentioning the names of the two at the bar then returns. "he says to join him in his meal."
  
Sorloc
 Dave looks at Assam, raising an eyebrow.
"You looking for work, friend?"   Dave lowers his voice so the barkeep cannot overhear.  "Because if you are, I'd like to hire you to watch my back for a few minutes."
 [/color]
Avidos
 Assam bows his head, "An honour it is...your back I'll shall watch."
  
Sorloc
 Dave slips a few heavy coins to Assam, then heads over to the table where the Lord is sitting.  Dave waits to be acknowledged, then executes a courtly bow, never taking his eyes from those of the Lord. 
"Begging you pardon, Milord, but the barkeep said you wished to speak to me.  My name is Dave, Dave Two-Swords I'm called in some places.  Here is my card, and I have references if you need them."   Dave hands over a card:
 
 
Sonon
 Khelben chuckles slightly as the one called Dave introduces himself and hands him his card. He studies the card then looks up meeting Dave's gaze with piercing grey eyes "You seem a little cocky young man..."
  
Sorloc
 Dave again bows, "Thank you, milord.  Surely you are an excellent judge of such."
 
Avidos
 Assam pockets the coin into one of the countless pouches on his person. He then watches Dave talk to the stranger.
  
Sonon
 Khelben chuckles then motions for the man to be seated on the other side of the booth then indicates that the man at the bar should join him.
  
Sorloc
 Dave sits.
 
Sonon
 Khelben waiting on the other man slowly sips on his steaming drink.
  
Avidos
 Assam sees the strange man (no not him...the other one..yes that's him) looking at him.  Assam casually looks over his right shoulder then his left.  He then points at himself, "Me?"
  
Sonon
 Khelben nods "yes you"
 [/color] 
Avidos
 Assam walks over to the stranger's table, "Sorry I am but work here I do not. If another drink you need then I am not the one."
  
Sonon
  “no no no, the barkeep here tells me you two are looking for work...is this true?”
  
Sorloc
 
  
Avidos
 Assam's skin though dark blushes, "Apologize I must for a card I do not have. Required this is no?"
  
Avidos
 Assam waits and waits for an answer then replies, "Sorry...eh I am...my common ...unable to speak it good I am not. Card like Dave's is required for you to...eh....speak to me?"
  
Sorloc
 Dave leans down near the table to peer under the hood.  He reaches out and pokes the city leader <poke, poke>.  He takes his hand, lifts it a little bit above the table, and lets go <thud>.
 Dave looks over at Assam and whispers, "Crap - he's dead.  I suggest we make ourselves scarce."   Dave raises his voice and says loudly enough for all in the inn to hear, "Yes, sir!  You picked the right heroes, sir!  We'll not let you down - we'll get right on that!  You've got nothing to worry about, no harm will come to you while we're on duty!"
 Dave slides out of his chair and draggs Assam out of the inn.
 
Avidos
 Assam seemingly oblivious at first catches on as Dave begins dragging him, "yes ...uh...yes Sorry you will not be...very good we are...indeed this is so."
 Assam stumbles somewhat as he physically dragged from the inn but he vigorously nods his head with a large fiegned smile. "Very good we are."
  

[Sorloc]

Sonon
 As you leave the inn you step out onto a packed road with dwellings and shops along each side in the distance you can see a large gate.
 
  Sonon
 This is a large road running through waterdeep from the east to the west at each end there is a large city gate along each side of the road are dwellings and shops of numerous sizes and designs about halfway along the road is a large tower.
  
Sorloc
 Dave looks around at the town, then snags a person passing in the street.  "Excuse me, kind sir, but could you tell me where there may be an apothecary in town?"
 Gaining this information, Dave will head there as quickly as possible without running. 
 To Assam, he says, "Our prime suspect is the innkeeper, but that assumes the drink was poisoned.  The cup he was drinking from is in my sleeve.  An apothecary or an herbalist may be able to tell if it is poisoned.  Otherwise, it could have been a blow dart - I think we would have noticed a knife, and no one else was nearby."   Dave thinks back a moment.  "Did the barkeep take him his drink personally, or was there a serving girl involved?"
 
Avidos
 Assam catches his breath when Dave stops to grab someone else. The mahogany-skin mage takes the oppurtunity to secure all the pouches strapped inside and outside of his cloak before pulling his hood back with his free arm.

 As Dave starts moving again, Assam is forced to take two or three steps to match the large man's strides.  Assam looks up at Dave, who still has his arm, "dramroot I spell...yes...Klundum is faint but nose of mine fails never not I say. Mixed it many times in my shop I have."
  
Sorloc
 Dave stops and looks at Assam. "You know this stuff?  Hm.  Then all we have to do is find where one might get it in this town and then of them, who sold some recently."   Dave pauses in thought.  "Unless we are dealing with someone competent, then they'd have bought it elsewhere or had it on hand a while, but I haven't met  anyone yet that seems able to plan their way out of a bag without a map.  Present company excluded, of course."
 Dave ponders a moment, "Still, it's a place to start, unless you have a better idea."
  
Avidos
 Assam rubs his chin as his eyes scan Dave as though he was looking for some clue. Assam's eyes then light up as he shakes a finger in the air, "Get it I do! planning of bag escaping is speech figure. Assam gets it."  

 Assam then nods his head as he pats his chest, "Assam knows..eh.. as you call it stuff. Study long in this I have. Idea of yours is good I think. Agree with it I do."
  
Sonon
 the commoner points to a small shop with dried herbs hanging in the windows "that thar is the apothecary sir" then he hurries off.
  
Sorloc
 Dave looks at Assam.
  “Oh, look, there it is, right in front of us, all this time.  Shall we burn it down?”
  
Avidos
 Assam's expression shows shock as he suddenly realizes that they unconciously stopped directly in front of the apothocary. He lets out a gasp. Then Dave's words seem to have been heard as Assam quits pacing while apparently trying to retrace his steps. 
   Assam's eyes dart all about the face of Dave, "wha...? burn it down you want?” Assam not understand Dave's humour. ::gasps:: “serious are you?  most upsetting this is....beside myself I am..."
  
Sorloc
 Dave smacks his forehead with his palm.
  “Oh, that's right, questions first, destruction later.”
 Dave walks in to the Apothecary's shop, with a huge stupid grin on his face.  "Good morning!  My friend is in need of a remedy - something he disagreed with ate him."
  
Avidos
 Assam, still visibily upset about setting fires, suddenly realizes that Dave has once again set himself in motion.  "yes...first is questions, destructive...no...no destructive anytime....good it is not...anytime...Assam does like the look on Dave's face....trust it I do not.."

 Once inside Assam begins with a series of "oohs" and "ahs".  Assam calls out, "good this place is...wonderful...ooh expensive it is..."
  
Sonon
 A wrinkled old woman comes out of a door near the back of the shop at the sound of Dave's voice "can i help you young man" then noticing Assam enter she corrects herself "oh sorry young men"
  
Sorloc
 Dave flashes his most winning smile.  “Good day to you, young lady.  My friend and I are in search of an apothecary.  Perhaps it would be best if I did my herbalist business with your mother first, and perhaps you and I could do some other business later, beautiful?"
  
Sonon
 The old woman blushes "oh my my what a charming young man, this is the apothecary what can i help you with?"
  
Avidos
 Assam's expression seems rather confused as his head tilts, "common speaking not I well....er how do you say....oh yes...we know this is the apothocary....uhm...the apothecarist is who we seek."
  
Sorloc
  “If I were to... <laughs> ...and believe me, this is purely... <laughs> ...hy po thetical... <laughs> ...want to purchase some dramroot and Klundum, where would I go? <laughs>”
 
  mrfantastic
 Hello..

 I see a long period with no posts here.

 Is it normal for months to go by on here with no progress?

 Im interested in this game based on what Ive seen.
 Just wondering.

 Thanx. Mr F.
  
Sorloc
 Dave jumps a bit, surprised. "Sorry, didn't hear you come in."   He looks at the decrepit old crone masquerading as an apothecary, touching a finger to just below his eye in a meaningful way.
 Looking back at the newcomer, he says, "Hi.  My name's Dave.  Just Dave.  Dave Two Swords some call me, but really my name is just Dave.  This is Assam," he says, indicating the dark cowled figure nearby.  "We are here looking for an.. um... a... love potion!  Yeah, that's it, a love potion.  For my friend... him! Yes, it is a love potion for Assam.  There's this girl he likes, but she's got this thing against, uh... her uh, parents disapprove, yeah.
 Hey - you're not City Guard, are you?  Because you have to tell us if you are, you know."
 Dave looks around furtively, "You can get away with all kinds of crazy 'shiznit' when the GM's not looking!"   Dave laughs with the power only a madman can provide to his mirth, then stops suddenly.
“So, what's your name?”
 
LadyCatreece
 I walk into the apothecary's shop, and look around gingerly with a smile on my face.

 My black boots are nice and shiny, my hair is absolutely perfect, and I have a twinkle in my eye.

  Good day, kind townsfolk! I am in the need of some herbs and such. This is where you buy them, correct?

 I turn and leave the building, holding the door open with my hand, as I look up at the sign, then re-enter.

Yes, it looks like this is the place! So, which one of you kind people is the proprietor of this fine and rustic establishement?
  
  mrfantastic
 It was a day as any other day.

 He knew the sun would rise and would fall as it always has.
 Not seeing the typical bulletin board most towns have as a central starting point, (strange how that has always worked.) Garth Greystorm decided to stop in the herb shop.
 Yes the place of many tales and starting point of many an adventurer.
 (Actually he just had some acid from too much rich food and wanted to do something about it.)
 But looking at it as an adventure made it more interesting.
 His silver armor and shield were very bright in the afternoon sun, and due to its magical property was actually cool enough to wear.

 He walks in the door and looks for the propietor.

  Nice boots m'lady, are you in line here or are you just here to make me smile?
"Im trying to find a cure for too much rich food and ale from last night." "What an event it was, we told tales and drank until we finally stumbled to a bed." " I think some people went to the wrong room judging from the screams I heard."
"Ahh but pardon my rudeness, I am Sir Garth a paladin passing thru."   Deep Bow//
  
LadyCatreece
 Smiling brightly at Garth, I turn and curtsie.

"Good day, kind sir!" I hold out my right hand, expecting him to pick it up and kiss it, and go on with, "and I am Megan Krell, as you can plainly see on my nametag."
 I move my hand underneath what looks to be a nametag just above her left breast.

  See? Megan, Loremaster-In-Training.  No, dear, up above a little. Yes, the name tag.

 I smile once more and have a very mischievous gleam in my eye.

"it sounds like you did have one very exciting night! I actually don't need to buy anything, but I saw so many people in here I thought it would be fun to pop in and say hello." <another smile>

  Oh, did you hear that somebody died in the tavern over there? I heard it was some city official or something. How strange!

 Then I took to look at the others in the very busy and popular shop, and extend my hand once more.

  Hello! I am Megan. And you are?
  
Sorloc
"Oh, a City Official murdered, you say?  Ahm, well... uh, don't no anything about that, nope!  We weren't even in the Inn of the Decayed Beholder today, were we, Assam?  Nope, just, uh... looking for some hebs for my poor grandmother's cough." Dave turns to the old lady. "WHERE'S THE GIRL?! - -  uh, I mean, Tell us where we can find those herbs!" Dave glances around, seeing everyone looking at him, "Uh, please?  Oh, uh, here's some money." Dave puts a few silver and copper coins on the table.
 Dave looks at the others.  "You didn't happen to see any City Guard, did you?  I'm uh, looking to apply."
  
LadyCatreece
 Turning to Dave--

  City Guard? I saw several out there, but they did not seem to be paying attention to anything other than the ground they were walking on. Very strange they are... I even asked one directions and he completely ignored me and kept walking along, staring at the ground. Very odd.
 Oh, that is right, you have not yet told me your name, you rogue! Same thing with your friend."
  
Sorloc
"Oh, yeah, they're stupid as hell in this town... inbreeding I think. Eh, please excuse me..." Dave glances back at the apothecary, "Think faster!  I'm gonna hold up your line until you cough up that info!"
"I am Dave.  Just Dave.  Some people call me Dave Two Swords, because I have these two swords strapped on my back, but really my name's just Dave.  I only use the two swords because the sword is just so much lighter than my old shield.  Damn, but that thing was heavy." Dave seems to reflect a bit, it seems hard for him, "'Course, it was useful to prop up for a bit of shade on sunny days.  Swords don't provide much shade," Dave confides to Megan.
 Dave gestures to Assam, "This is my companion Assam.  Me and him, we go way back.  Yup, tight.  Assam has an infection on his.. um... well, he's got an infection, and we're here looking for Dramroot and um, that other one, and we reallly need to find out where we can get some of that."
  
LadyCatreece
"It is wonderful to meet you both!" I smile brightly at both Dave and Assam, my eyes then turning to the woman who works here.

  Oh, I am sorry, are you alright? Dave, don't you think you were a little rough with her? I think you scared her to death!
  
  mrfantastic
 I kiss the hand offered and bow before
 the lovely lady.

 I then look further into the shop and
 express my sorrow for the town murder.
  Please tell me someone here is the
 shopkeeper?"
 I really need some cure all potion
 for too much fun last night."
 If someone need helps bringing the
 murderer to justice I will do what I can."
 Im new here and have no idea what
 going on."

 He glances back at the lady..
  Nice name tag indeed.
 It looks good on you.
  
Sonon
 If you look closely at the old woman you can see that under her wrinkles her eyes are shut. Then you hear her begin to snore.
  
  mrfantastic
 Looking around Garth tries to pry his eyes
 from the nice name tag."

  Speak up someone.

 Whats going on with the murders in town?

 And for the love of mystra will someone
 sell me some good hang over cures??"

 Garth looks over all in the shop hoping
 for some responses."
 He taps his hand over his sword hilt as he waits.
 Growing more impatient with his headache.
  
LadyCatreece
 Grinning at Garth---

"Well kind sir, from what I have heard, there was some city official in the tavern over there, and when I walked in I saw that there were some city guards around him. Rumor has it he was poisoned. But still, the guards acted so strangely," I look down in thought, then continue--

  They were around in the tavern, and from what I have heard they did not ask anybody any questions except for the barkeep, and they were walking slowly, looking down to the floor. It was very odd.
  
  Rachael
 I walk into the shop, carrying some burlap sacks.
 "Mother!  What are you doing out of bed?
 Excuse me, please... Coming through... I'll be with you all in a moment!  Thanks!
"Mother?  Oh, Mother, your narcolepsy acting up again?  I told you to eat your leaf..." I put down the sacks and carry mother into her bed, then return and say to the crowd, "Okay, who's first?"
  
Sorloc
"Me! I mean, my friend."   Dave looks around.  "Well, he was here a minute ago.  It's the black cloak the does it, you know.  You'd think it would make you stand out, but actually it makes you very very sneaky and hard to notice.  I've got to get me one of those.  Anyway, My friend and I want to know.. that is, um.. we're looking for.. hm, where can we get...Uh, we'll wait."   Dave steps aside and gestures to the other customers.
 
  mrfantastic
  I thank you most kind and lovely lady.
 It's nice to meet someone so considerate
 who can look so good with a name tag."

 grins..

  Now to business, I wish to buy some
 items to treat a hangover."
 Yes I am a paladin, yes I could
 ask my god, but the gods get
 annoyed when you waste their powers."

 So presuming someone here is a
 merchant and wanting to make money,
 please fill my order."

(tosses gold coins on the counter)

(Looks back to the lady.)

  Ahh foulplay is never good, but
 there are so many motives for murder
 it may never be solved."
 Follow the money, thats what I say.
 Look for who would profit from the killing
 and theres your killer."
 So what are you up tp today?
 Any great lore to tell or find?
 Or perhaps on vacation for a few days?
  I am waiting for a church elder to send
 me some orders. Oh to slay this dragon
 or rescue this damsesl or cry havoc on
 some evil magician."
 All in a days work.
 I hope something happens soon!
  

[Sorloc]

  Rachael
"Hello, I am Rachael, the herbalist.  I have several remedies for a hangover.  What were you drinking last night?"
 ...
 "Aah, well that must have been a fun evening.  I have just the thing right here."
 I take a large earthware jug and shake it vigorously, then pour some of the greenish brown liquid into a cup.
 "You'll note a smell of mint and honey, but I advise not to examine it more deeply than that."
 I take one of the gold coins, and return some silver coins to him, "Unless you want a full liter, sir?"
 ...
 "So which of the gods do you follow?  I have a daughter in the Sun Temple."
  
LadyCatreece
 I smile slyly and reply-

"I am sure that something interesting will happen to you very shortly if you continue to look for it," and then I wink.

  So you are a Paladin, eh? Of what god?

 I look at the lady working the counter--

  Miss, how long have you lived in town? Have you heard anything about the death of the city official? And why in the world are the guards so weird here?
  
  mrfantastic
 Bowing to the shopkeeper.

Thank you, I will take the whole thing.
 I have no idea how long I will be
 stuck here, and may need it all before
 I am done." Thank you.. keep the change."

 I was pledged to Lady Luck at an early
 age. I have trained to be an agent
 of luck. To travel and adventure and to
 tip the scales as called upon."
 In between these adventures I test
 my own luck at the gaming tables
 and the various arenas around."
 I live to life to its fullest and never
 want this journey to end."

 Ahh the campaigns Ive seen,
 the parties,the cities."
 Life is an open road just calling out
 to me."
 Well not so much lately.
 I have agent duty now.

 Im one of a few who the temples
 will call upon to right wrongs or
 punish those who laugh at the gods
 in defiance." "When you serve a god
 you dont really serve just one as
 they do have their own alliances
 and such."

  "I have worked for the sun
 temples before clearing out a crypt
 of nasty undead."Some things most
 the good gods always agree on."

 Well its been great meeting you
 all,, and may fortune smile upon you."
 I am heading back the the lucky
 horseshoe inn." " I am going to recover
 from the merry making and get ready
 for the next wave of good fortune."
 Luck is a great river and when your
 going with the current, hold on !!"
 Its one wild ride !

 A gleam appears in his eye as he
 smiles to the ladies and politely
 starts to make his exit."
  
LadyCatreece
 I turn to the shop keeper, after she has andswered my questions, and say-

  Oh, I don't need anything, thank you though.

 To Garth-

  The Lucky Horseshoe Inn? I saw that a few blocks down, I believe. It looks like a lot of fun! If you don't mind, I think that I just may join you. If you don't mind, that is.

 <smile>
  
  mrfantastic
  Would I mind?

 Well of course I would not mind !!

 I would be honored to escort such
 a lovely story teller with such a dazzling
 name tag.. er uhm personality."
 Im sure you could tell me many things
 you have seen or heard about."

 Garth offers an arm as he holds the door open.
  
LadyCatreece
 On the way to the Inn, we pass several guards. Their heads are down, looking at the floor, and do not seem to notice anyone.

  How long to you plan to be in town for?
  
  mrfantastic
  Odd guards in this town for sure.

 Well charming lady I'm not sure how long
 I will be here."
 It could be a week or two months.
 The church told me to come here and wait
 for orders." "So here I wait."

 So, tell me about your self.
 How long in town and how long staying?
 Are you in the mood for dinner or maybe
 some nice spring wine?"
  
Sorloc
“Hi!”
 Dave smiles his most charming smile at the attractive, if a bit aged, apothecary...
 Dave glances around, hoping for a glimpse of the daughter...
"Oh? - yes, my friend and I we are.. uh, well, we are looking for someone who can tell us where someone might get dramroot and klundum.  Or just one." Dave looks aside at Assam, "If it were me, I'd buy them seperately, to cover my tracks as best as possible.  Hm.  Actually, if he's got any sense, he's bought them elsewhere.  But where else do we have to start?"
 Dave looks back at the pale, shocked woman.  "We don't want any - we just need to know who might supply it."
  
LadyCatreece
  Oh, dinner would be wonderful! I am only in town to pick up an artifact that is said to be buried around here. After I locate its origins, that I will dig it up and, who knows! My work takes me to many places, and it is a very flexible job.

 A guard bumps into the two of us.....

  They are odd, aren't they? A city official dies, and the guards act as if they are drugged or something.
  
  mrfantastic
  (Looks at the guards in passing.)

  Yes odd, maybe they know something we don't?
 Hmm maybe they are just unhappy with their lot in life?

 Well lets not let them spoil the wonderful things
 we can take from this day."
 What sounds good for dinner?
 Tell me more of this artifact you seek.
 In some circles my Holy Sword would be one.

 (Looking the lady over head to toe.
 What do I see?)
 
LadyCatreece
 What you see is:
 Usually wears a clean, crisp white sirt, amost boarding on a blouse, dark navey blue pants that are also very clean, very shiny black boots that go to below the knee. Her hair is always very neat and clean, and she wears a name tag that says:

 Megan, Loremaster-in-Training

 Her hair is light brown and is pulled back at the nape of her neck. Megan stands 5'4 with light hazel eyes. Her shape is absolutely perfect, not too top heavy, not too bottom heavy.

"The artifact I am looking for is a smallish staff with a skull's head on the end of it. Quite silly really, skull's head. Honestly, it is just calling out for somebody goofy to do something bad with it." <shrugs and rolls eyes> "Anyhow, it has some sort of runes on it, and that it what I am interested in. From what I have read, most of the people who had this item did not know what the runes meant, and only used it as a spell hoarding device. It could hold spells and such. I believe that the runes are probably important, and the item is quite old. Therefore, it must be mine! Until I figure out what it does, then I will sell it to a good friend of mine who deals in that sort of stuff. I do believe, though, that the runes might have something to do with stealing souls, but I can not be certain until I see it."

 Your Holy Sword might be an artifact? Well then, perhaps, if you deem me worthy enough, you might allow me to take a look at it and see!

 I give him a sly smile and a wink.
  
Sorloc
"What was the name of that other herb, Assam?  Assam?" Dave snaps his fingers under Assam's nose.  "Whatinnahell?"   Dave bends down to peer into Assam's face, and shakes him a bit.  "ASSAM!  HEY!"
 Dave turns to the apothecary, "He seems awake, but he's... Hey!  He's kind of like those idiot guardsmen!  Oh, hell - is this 'shiznit' contagious or something?"
  
 [color= darkgreen] Rachael
 Let me look at him...
 hmm...
 Well, we need to get this cloak off him, for starters...
 Oh, my!  What in the world is THAT!?
 There's some sort of... creature on him - it's... attached to him somehow."
 [/color]
Sorloc
 Dave sets his pack down and reaches inside it, pulling out a soot-stained torch. 
  “Well I know how to fix parasites...

 Later, after the screams have faded away...

  “Well, in retrospect, perhaps there might be a better way to do that.  I guess I'll be needing to purchase some healing salves, ma'am.
 
 -fin?-

[illucypher]

ok, new nomination for the Hall of Fame

First ever post in the inter-ship communications channel of Star Trek Battles

You ripple heads better have a spare pair of underpants, cause ya gunna need 'em 

Reason for nomination: Soooo un Federation good guys approach; Ironmaul really throws the gaunlett down to the Klingons

[CroakerDogBoy]

My game After The Hammer is a post apocalyptic campaign set in the Missouri Ozarks. phalse.profet plays Alexander Supertramp. He was abandoned by his family during the fall of civilization and spent several years on his own. He was later taken in by an old man who raised him in a cabin in an empty state park. The old man died and left Alexander on his own. When Raiders moved into Alex's cabin, he attacked them and left three for dead, before he ran off. He later met Cliff and Hal, two older survivors who have become his mentors in how to deal with people. They earned his trust when two of the surviving raiders showed up having followed Alexander and they were dealt with.

Alex, Hal and Cliff have recently run into an extended clan of survivors. The head of the clan informed them that they had inspected the cabin and found some helpful items that shouldn't be left to rot. Alex, Hal and Cliff have gone to the cabin to pick up these items. This is Alexanders' first return to the cabin since he ran away. He asks Hal and Cliff to go to the 'garden' with him to pay his respects to the old man he calls his 'father'.

The thread begins here: http://www.rpgrm.com/rmsmf/index.php?topic=3585.300

Alex

The closer the group has gotten to the cabin, the more withdrawn Alex has seemed.  Since you've arrived though, Alex has been staring at the cabin and with no signs of activity, he's started to come out of his shell.  When Cliff walks over, Alex is in the process of looking around at the forest, swiveling his head side to side at various sounds and generally soaking it all up.

At Cliff's question, Alex says, "Of course I'm alright.  I'm finally home again, in my forest.  Come with me and I'll introduce you to my father.  You too, Hal..."  Alex looks towards Malachai and Bronwyn and surveys them, almost as if he's seeing them for the first time, "Stay out of the garden."  Alex keeps his eyes on Malachai and Bronwyn as he walks backwards towards the garden with gigger in hand making sure they don't follow.

Alex

Alex leads them around to the side of the cabin into "The Garden".  At one time it may have been a garden but it's mostly over grown with weeds now.  You can see various spots that have different ages of overgrowth though.  Each of these spots are roughly 6-7ft long by 3-4ft wide.  As you follow Alex futher back into "The Garden", you see rocks placed on the ground composed in a fairly rectangular formation (about 7ft x 4ft).

Alex leads you over to it, kneels down next to the stones and starts to whisper to the stones.  You notice the carcasses of a few animals laid out at one end of the stones.  Alex stops whispering, straightens a few of the stones and starts to cry.  It isn't a quiet little kind of crying, it is ugly and deep and comes from the deepest bottom of himself, despair in it's most primal form.

Alex

To Cliff, "I thought you would want to meet my father so you could pay your respects."  Alex says the "pay your respects" part awkwardly as if it doesn't make sense to him.  "You can help move the stones if you want, but I like to move the dirt by myself."  Alex turns back to the stones and you can hear him whispering but it's too low to make out what he's saying.

Cliff

Holy Shite! He is gonna dig him up! I gotta stop this now!

"Alex, when I meant paying my respects, I would like to have spoken to him from his grave you made for him. I don't need to meet him to talk to him. Same like you are talking to him now. We will be talking to his spirit, his soul if you care to look at it that way. I will have to explain myself better next time. And I will actually talk to you about this later on back home if you care to. I think we should keep your father's grave undisturbed."

Looks back at Hal with that surprised 'I need to watch how literal he takes my meanings' look

Alex

Alex stops moving the rocks and listens to Cliff's explanation.  "Are you sure?  I never thought of it as disturbing his grave before when I would move the dirt and talk to him.  Besides, If I don't move the dirt, how am I supposed to give him more animals to hunt?"  Alex grabs the animal carcasses and holds them up.

Alex's eyes widens as an idea pops into his head.  "When I move the dirt, I might find some worms to give that boy!  I bet he'd like that."

Alex turns back and starts moving stones off the grave again.

[CroakerDogBoy]

Alex

As Alex labors to move the dirt aside, his whisperings become a little louder in places and you can hear snatches of it.

"Please be alive this time..."

"I'll be better..."

"Please be more than bones..."

"Hide from the comet this time..."

His whisperings sound like a young boy's voice instead of Alex's normal voice.

Alex

Alex has only scraped away about a foot of dirt when the first bone makes it appearance.  A few more scrapes and it is obvious from the curvature and size that it is a skull.  Alex carefully digs out the dirt from around it.  Among the clods of dirt that Alex shoves aside are smaller animal bones and teeth.  Alex picks up the skull and wipes away the dirt the best he can.  He cradles the skull against his chest and hums a song that bears a vague resemblance to "The Lark Ascending".  Alex makes it sound both sad and happy at the same time.

Alex has a look of disappointment on his face but it quickly gives way to one of eagerness.  "Father, I have friends now, just like you said I would someday.  Alex holds the skull towards Cliff and Hal as if helping his dead father look them over, "This is Hal and Cliff.  They remind me of you sometimes."

Alex holds the skull up to Cliff with a half-expectant look on his normally blank face.

Cliff

Now with a finality of the event upon him, Cliff has this wash of emotions well up from someplace down deep inside him. He looks sad and happy at the same time.

If only I could talk to them like this as well. I miss you so much....so much!

Max sits down next to Cliff and puts her head in he lap and looks at Alex talking to the skull. Cliff looks down at here somber as well.

Please don't go for any bones girl. I don't need to chase you around with his dad's leg in your mouth while Alex gets the gigger ready. That would make the day really bad.

Cliff speaks up when Alex introduces his 'father' to Hal and himself....."It is a pleasure and I am pleased to make your aquaintence. You have a real good son. You would be proud of him. I consider it an honor to be his friend. I want to thank you in advance for the use of your items in the cabin to help us out."

Cliff looks at Alex and places his hand our Alex's shoulder in a positive but gentle pat.

Alex

Alex seems pleased with what Cliff has said to his father.  "That was Cliff.  He has one of those dogs.  Calls it Max."

Alex half turns towards Hal and holds the skull up.  "This is Hal.  He found me after I ran from the ugly people."

Alex

Once again, Alex seems pleased.  He starts to return the skull to the hole, but pauses.

"Do you think we could bring him with us and plant him in our new backyard?"

Cliff

Looking directly at Alex..."I think Hal is right. If your father wanted to move out with other people, he would have done it a long time ago. I think it would be best to keep him here. That way he is resting here in his own garden."

Alex

Alex listens to Cliff's question and Hal's statement.  He looks at his father's skull, "Yes, I guess that's what he would have wanted."  Alex buries the skull along with the carcasses of the small animals he had previously laid next to the grave, smooths the dirt as best he can and moves the rocks back to where they were.

Alex takes several deep breaths, slowly looks around at the forest and stands.  "My name is Alexander Supertramp."